


If It Is You

by rosesforksj



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: 60s, Angst, Break Up, F/F, Falling In Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 06:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19245445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesforksj/pseuds/rosesforksj
Summary: In her crazy days of the 60s, Roseanne Park was a very ambitious French journalist who served as a spy to get unique holes. Unfortunately, she was captured and lived for two years waiting for her sentence, in which she would certainly be treated for her homosexual inclinations.Now, in her last moments of sanity, she writes a letter describing how such a clever girl let herself be deceived not only by the government, but also by the feelings for a certain person.





	If It Is You

"Hello again, my dear.

It's been a while since the last letter, right? How have you been? The times here are a bit difficult but I got some time for you.

As I said, things are choppy here, I feel my sentence is near. Do you know how I'm doing these days? I can not even swallow anything, I can not even fall asleep at night knowing that maybe I will not live tomorrow.

It is a constant fear.

I know I told you this story, but i could tell you one more time? I know you have already answered me with your silence and I know the meaning of an "unanswered response" but I pretend not to know. I need to relive this story daily, even if only by letters, to never let the shocks make me forget it.

I'm sorry dear, I have so much to tell you, so much that you and the government do not know, but I can not tell you everything, at least the basics.

I'm rambling again. I know you hate it, but sometimes it's hard to avoid.

Two years ago, I belonged to my country. I believed that a borehole was to fight for a noble cause, it was my country, my duty ... That was a good thing, was not it?

I do not think that anymore.

We were preparing to change our route, the war was so intense - I believe it still is - and unfortunately the Germans caught Jean Belikov, a 26-year-old resistance friend, who was to accompany us on the return journey.

I needed an exclusive interview with him. Can you imagine the repercussion I would have if I revealed the greatest secrets of Germany, my dear? We could win the war.

Then, at the request of Corporal N.J, my car was armed with a Sten gun and eight ammunition magazines. The Germans would certainly suspect my vehicle, since it was forbidden for us, French, to circulate in the midst of the crisis, but there was no other way to pass through the commander of the battalion of the 2nd Panzer Division.

When I got to a bridge over a railroad, there was one of the enemy troops. I unclasped the car, hoping they would not search me. I identified myself as Thai knowing that they did not know how to differentiate the Asians so much, an advantage. But one of the military recognized me, they had a picture of me. I imagine to this day how.

All I remember later was that I fought the Germans for thirty minutes, killing one cable, possibly more, and wounding a few others.

Eventually, I ran out of ammunition and was captured by two men who dragged me up the hill to the bridge. I was even interrogated there by a young policeman whose armored car had parked nearby.

That does not interest you anymore, does it? It does not matter to me, but I promised to continue and here I am.

He was fearless and brave, just like you. The officer wished me congratulations on my determination and put a cigarette in my mouth, but I threw the cigarette on the floor and spat in his face. I had no guns and was attached to a tree, but I would not give myself easy to them.

And since that day I've been confined here.

For two years, I've been deported in an unknown country.

For two years, I'm waiting for my death, believe me, I know they're going to take my life.

This is kind of boring, we'll talk about ourselves.

There is still a "we"? I would like that, but while you? No doubt there are better things out there, friends, parties, tastings and people at your disposal.

I miss everything, you make me different, I've always been boring but when we were together I felt like someone else, someone who would get everything, everything with you.

I'm here and you there, and I feel like I will not get anything, but I can not think like this, I can not feel like this. The moment I feel this way, it can be my last, I need to be strong, to be strong, to be ... I need to survive for my country.

I will survive.

I wish it were you who will be waiting for me when I get out of here? Dead or alive, I'll leave. I can be many things, but I have words. And I swore I would come back without ever revealing details of my missions, I do not know if for you or for my family - if they still wants me ...

So we got to the point that brought me here: you.

Will you be there, my dear? I suppose, after all, who else but the person who signed a form that would allow me to be hospitalized?

Yes Dear. It may have been my fault for having been caught after so long, but we both know you plotted it.

It was clever, I admit. A journalist like me, ambitious and who would do anything for the story that would save her country from the war, could only be caught by the older tactic: love.

Has it ever been real to you?

At some point, did her feelings go beyond the pity of this poor spy?

If it was not, then I do not want your pity!

But if it was something ... something like a need to help someone feel better, I'd like to understand. Please respond to this letter one day. Even if I'm dead, answer me. Your words make a difference to me.

This is my last letter and even though I feel like dying, even though there is no way for you to come to me and even knowing that you are not looking elsewhere, I do not think I can let you go.

If I were you, I would just love myself.

Regards, Roseanne Park "

**Author's Note:**

> maybe someday I'll make a story based on that. :)


End file.
